So you got dunked on

Fighting’s not the best response, but it’s not the worst!

Friday night, James Johnson cocked that joint back and banged on Andre Drummond. It was fierce:

Drummond young, proud, and a legit interior presence, so that can’t feel good. And Drummond responded by wantonly leveling Johnson on a later possession:

An unmistakable YOU MAAAAAD moment, but not the worst response to getting dunked on. Let’s take a look at the rankings, a sequel to the important So You’ve Been Nutmegged.


1. Dunk right back on that player the next time down, or cross him up or something.

2. Bait the player into trying another dunk, but block this one.

3. Get completely naked and do the worm at centercourt. Be THE highlight from the game.

4. Jog back down court applauding like a tennis player who just gave up a winner, like “Ho ho! You’ve bested me this time, adversary!”

5. Hug the guy.

6. Hit the guy.

7. Grab the ball and throw it upward through the net like “Nuh-uh, I undid it. Doesn’t count!”

8. Just walk right out of the arena and keep walking until you reach the uppermost wilds of Nunavut. Build a cabin there and never show your face again.

9. Remove your jersey to reveal the opponent’s jersey underneath, like “Guess what, guys! I was a double agent the whole time! Good job, teammate!”

10. Cry. Cry so hard and for so the long that the player wonders if he caught you at a particularly vulnerable moment and apologizes.

11. Commandeer every recording of the dunk, which, on a nationally broadcast feed, would mean not only taking down the network but pilfering thousands of people’s DVRs and YouTube accounts.

12. Lay motionless on the ground. Do everything in your power to avoid this. Every second you lay there, another meme gets made.

December 20, 2014 by : Posted in Uncategorized No Comments

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