Santa Claus is a Clemson alum, recruiting letter reveals

According to a letter on Clemson letterhead, Santa Claus wants lots of athletes to enroll at Clemson!

Via Clemson Football

Three things:

1. “My old friend Dabo Swinney”

If you had to pick one college football coach to be old friends with Santa Claus, you might pick Dabo. Wonderment and merriment follow wherever he goes. Whether that means feeding grapes to a pig named Jules or baptizing Nuk Hopkins on the practice field or drawing strength from majestic beasts …

… Swinney is a man for whom life is an ever-opening present and a gift to us all.

2. Santa Claus went to Clemson

Sure, sure, Wikipedia, you have your theories on where Santa came from.

Pre-modern representations of the gift-giver from Church history and folklore, notably St Nicholas (known in Dutch as Sinterklaas), merged with the English character Father Christmas to create the character known to Americans and the rest of the English-speaking world as Santa Claus.

In the English and later British colonies of North America, and later in the United States, British and Dutch versions of the gift-giver merged further. For example, in Washington Irving‘s History of New York (1809), Sinterklaas was Americanized into “Santa Claus” (a name first used in the American press in 1773)[23] but lost his bishop’s apparel, and was at first pictured as a thick-bellied Dutch sailor with a pipe in a green winter coat.

However:

You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout I’m telling you why… pic.twitter.com/MhdJtF8iNk

— Clemson Marketing (@CUSportsMktg) December 14, 2013

Despite his busy schedule, Santa showed up at @CLEMSONWBB‘s game–he said he’d stick around for @ClemsonMBB at 7pm! pic.twitter.com/BPzy2ls9Hy

— Clemson Athletics (@ClemsonTigers) December 14, 2013

Santa graduated from Clemson in 1896, according to the letter, which is also the year the school started its football program. For decades, Santa has been a booster flagrantly wiping his bottom with the NCAA’s rulebook.

3. Santa Claus wants everyone to go to Clemson, especially star high school football players

Clemson University is a fine institution, where students study things such as Santa Claus (this isn’t really about Santa, but about the logistics of Christmas shipping, but everyone knows those gifts come from Santa, so it’s about Santa):

Previously in recruiting letters:

Beware the SWAG-O-METER

Write yourself a recruiting letter

DANGIT, PURDUE

December 18, 2014 by : Posted in Uncategorized No Comments

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