Power Rankins: The 10 best holiday movies this week
Here’s what you should watch for the week of 12/15 – 12/22.
It’s been 50 years since Rankin/Bass Productions brought us their claymation classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, notable for being a well-known story infused with an elf that wants to be a dentist. Here are our rankings on the movies that you should watch this week, and where you can find them.#l
1. Die Hard
Your DVD player, because TV is too dumb to put in on.
Die Hard is the absolute perfect holiday movie for 2014. Everyone with half a brain loves it, and for some reason TV executives in their infinite wisdom decided not to air it.
“Now I have a machine gun, ho-ho-ho.”
2. It’s A Wonderful Life
Saturday, Dec. 20 – USA Network. 5 p.m.
The heartwarming tale of how a banking collapse drives a man to contemplate suicide.
3. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
Friday, Dec. 19 – ABC Family. 10 p.m.
“Oh the crunch enhancer? Yeah, it’s a non-nutritive cereal varnish. It’s semi-permeable, not osmotic. What it does is it coats and seals the flake, preventing the milk from penetrating it.”
Just watch it again, already.
Saturday, Dec. 20 – ABC Family. 12 a.m.
After years of vehement defense I’ve come to accept that Bill Murray is basically the same character in every single movie that was released between 1985 and 2000. In this case it’s totally okay.
Good luck getting this out of your head.
5. The Muppets Christmas Carol
Sunday, Dec. 21 – WGN. 7:12 p.m.
Muppets have ruined me on all other iterations of “A Christmas Carol.” If you present me with two good versions of essentially the same story, but one has Muppets — I know what I’m picking.
6. Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Saturday, Dec. 20 – Cartoon Network. 10:30 AM.
Watch this and forget that the Jim Carrey version ever happened.
7. Home Alone
Tuesday, Dec. 16 – ABC Family. 8:30 p.m.
Any time you think about Home Alone you’re immediately required to remember that Joe Pesci won an Oscar for Goodfellas the same year. The man went from being in a Martin Scorsese masterpiece to being hit in the nuts with a paint can.
8. A Charlie Brown Christmas
Tuesday, Dec. 16 – ABC. 8 p.m.
Fun fact: This was released on January 1, 1965. Like, it was released a week AFTER Christmas. I’ve seen this movie three dozen times and the only things I remember from it are a depressing tree and that song.
9. Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas
Friday, Dec. 19 – HDNET Movies. 8:15 p.m.
You know, I really liked this movie before Hot Topic totally ruined this and it was co-opted by every squeaky-voiced teen. It’s still pretty good though, even if it straddles the line of even being a holiday movie.
10. Miracle on 34th Street
Tuesday, Dec. 16 – AMC. 8:00 p.m.
No, not that one where the dude who created Jurassic Park became Santa, we’re talking about the 1947 version here. The original is way better than the 90′s version, but creating Jurassic Park would be the dopest present ever.