Monday Night Fitness is the Saints-Bears drinking game for your body

It’s that time again! We’ll whip you into shape WHILE you watch football.

Monday is the day you’re supposed to hit the gym. Gotta work off all those wings and pints of beer, right? Yeah, yeah, but you gotta work all day and then there’s FOOTBALL at night again! Well, we’ve got the solution: get fit WHILE you watch football. With the ultra-predictable Monday Night Football broadcast, it should be a breeze!

It’s real simple. Think of it like a drinking game, but with more sweating (or less, depending on your drinking regimen). Something on the list happens, you do the appropriate exercise. Got it? Get to it.

Here are your Monday Night Fitness assignments for Saints at Bears on Monday night:

EVERY TIME: DO THIS:
They mention how cold it is in Chicago 20 crunches
Stock footage of Wrigley Field 5 minute plank
Jay Cutler is shown smoking a cigarette on the sideline Run a marathon
An NFL owner is terrible at high-fives 20 lunges
ESPN shows aerial view of the stadium 20 squats
“The Windy City!” 25 squats
You hear “I WAS BOOORN FREEEE” 20 crunches
The announcers discuss the Bears’ abysmal season 20 jumping jacks
“Drew Brees just knows how to win!” 10 pushups
ESPN shows any Bears fan literally dressed like a bear 2 laps around your block
ESPN shows any footage of stadium food 15 pushups
ESPN cuts to a cute kid in the crowd 10 second plank
SHIRTLESS BEARS FANS 15 squats
That stupid “fans singing” NFL app commercial comes on 20 lunges
Cameras find a fan with a sign using the letters “ESPN” in a clever way 20 bicep curls with a canned good
The announcers talk about Mike Ditka in reverent tones 15 second side plank
Announcer unironically says “DAAA BEARS” 10 handstand pushups
Earnest discussion of deep dish vs. thin crust pizza Finish watching on treadmill
ESPN cuts to cheerleaders forcing smiles 20 crunches
Jon Gruden doesn’t know what a common word means 20 burpees

We believe in you. Feel the burn.

December 16, 2014 by : Posted in Uncategorized No Comments

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