Monday Night Fitness is the Falcons-Packers drinking game for your body
It’s that time again! We’ll whip you into shape WHILE you watch football.
Monday is the day you’re supposed to hit the gym. Gotta work off all those wings and pints of beer, right? Yeah, yeah, but you gotta work all day and then there’s FOOTBALL at night again! Well, we’ve got the solution: get fit WHILE you watch football. With the ultra-predictable Monday Night Football broadcast, it should be a breeze!
It’s real simple. Think of it like a drinking game, but with more sweating (or less, depending on your drinking regimen). Something on the list happens, you do the appropriate exercise. Got it? Get to it.
Here are your Monday Night Fitness assignments for Falcons at Packers on Monday night:
|EVERY TIME:||DO THIS:|
|ESPN graphic comparing Aaron Rodgers’ stats to legendary QBs||20 crunches|
|They mention Clay Matthews appearing in Pitch Perfect 2||5 minute plank|
|Aaron Rodgers *actually* eats ice cream on the field||20 lunges|
|Aaron Rodgers *actually* plays the game in a denim fedora||Run a marathon|
|ESPN shows aerial view of the stadium||20 squats|
|Stock footage of Wisconsin snow||25 squats|
|You hear “I WAS BOOORN FREEEE”||20 crunches|
|Christmas music used as a bumper||20 jumping jacks|
|Announcers spend 10 seconds or longer discussing a more interesting game||10 pushups|
|Actual shot of the actual Green Bay||2 laps around your block|
|ESPN shows any footage of stadium food||15 pushups|
|ESPN cuts to a cute kid in the crowd||10 second plank|
|SHIRTLESS PACKERS FANS||15 squats|
|That stupid “fans singing” NFL app commercial comes on||20 lunges|
|Cameras find a fan with a sign using the letters “ESPN” in a clever way||20 bicep curls with a canned good|
|ESPN cuts to any Packers fan in a cheese head||15 second side plank|
|Announcers talk about how Mike Smith is probably going to get fired super soon||10 handstand pushups|
|Mike Smith is actually fired during the game||Finish watching on treadmill|
|ESPN cuts to cheerleaders forcing smiles||20 crunches|
|Jon Gruden doesn’t know what a common word means||20 burpees|
We believe in you. Feel the burn.