Monday Night Fitness is the Falcons-Packers drinking game for your body

It’s that time again! We’ll whip you into shape WHILE you watch football.

Monday is the day you’re supposed to hit the gym. Gotta work off all those wings and pints of beer, right? Yeah, yeah, but you gotta work all day and then there’s FOOTBALL at night again! Well, we’ve got the solution: get fit WHILE you watch football. With the ultra-predictable Monday Night Football broadcast, it should be a breeze!

It’s real simple. Think of it like a drinking game, but with more sweating (or less, depending on your drinking regimen). Something on the list happens, you do the appropriate exercise. Got it? Get to it.

Here are your Monday Night Fitness assignments for Falcons at Packers on Monday night:

ESPN graphic comparing Aaron Rodgers’ stats to legendary QBs 20 crunches
They mention Clay Matthews appearing in Pitch Perfect 2 5 minute plank
Aaron Rodgers *actually* eats ice cream on the field 20 lunges
Aaron Rodgers *actually* plays the game in a denim fedora Run a marathon
ESPN shows aerial view of the stadium 20 squats
Stock footage of Wisconsin snow 25 squats
You hear “I WAS BOOORN FREEEE” 20 crunches
Christmas music used as a bumper 20 jumping jacks
Announcers spend 10 seconds or longer discussing a more interesting game 10 pushups
Actual shot of the actual Green Bay 2 laps around your block
ESPN shows any footage of stadium food 15 pushups
ESPN cuts to a cute kid in the crowd 10 second plank
That stupid “fans singing” NFL app commercial comes on 20 lunges
Cameras find a fan with a sign using the letters “ESPN” in a clever way 20 bicep curls with a canned good
ESPN cuts to any Packers fan in a cheese head 15 second side plank
Announcers talk about how Mike Smith is probably going to get fired super soon 10 handstand pushups
Mike Smith is actually fired during the game Finish watching on treadmill
ESPN cuts to cheerleaders forcing smiles 20 crunches
Jon Gruden doesn’t know what a common word means 20 burpees

We believe in you. Feel the burn.

December 8, 2014 by : Posted in Uncategorized No Comments

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