A MEXICAN SUPER BOWL, SENIOR JOE MONTANA, AND RICO SUAVE
I was nowhere near a television Sunday night, and watched a Mexican upload of the Super Bowl on my I-pad in The Everglades.Â Thank the Virgin Mary, that my wireless network reaches into the river of grass.Â And thank her again, that the NFLs draconian blackout powers do not reach across the border into Mexico.
It seems that what I was watching, was being uploaded from a video camera pointed at a television in a small cantina, because every time there was a big play, I could hear 10-15 people clapping with mild enthusiasm.Â It was surreal to see the stadium crowd going crazy on the screen, while simultaneously hearing what sounded like a dozen drunk Mexicans, who not really having a dog in the fight, or even an understanding of the rules for that matter, simply applauded anytime they saw a guy hit the turf.
The best parts of this broadcast were the wacky TV commercials.Â While the rest of America was watching the coolest, most expensive advertisements from Coke, VW and Doritos, I was experiencing a Mexican variety.Â The strangest was a beer ad that featured Joe Montana showing up at a Latin familys home, drinking beer, and playing a fun game of American football in the backyard with the whole family.
Mexicans getting excited about a strange Gringo with a disturbing haircut showing up at the door?Â Kids in a beer ad?Â Mexicans giving a crap about American football?Â Mr. Quarterback himself, not quick enough to avoid the Senora that just sacked him on an inside blitz by the picnic table?Â A hall-of-famer so desperate for money that hes forced to pitch adult beverages in third world countries?Â It was all a bit too much for me to comprehend – I felt a queasy.
As pathetic as it was to see e Comeback Kid padding his wallet south of the border, the halftime show made me quickly forget all about it.Â Guess what you get when you hire a two hit band to play a gig requiring at least 4 hit songs?Â You get The Black Eyed Peas killing time with two horrendous covers of other peoples songs followed by a verbal cluster-fuck best described as a free-stylin pe and change shit-fest.Â Why couldnt the half time show have been in Spanish?Â Rico Suave, anyone?
Oh ya, the game Like I said last week, the outcome of the game would be obvious during the first few minutes of the game.Â Los Green Bay Packers were not nervous, and they made far fewer mistakes.Â They also overcame a series of devastating injuries to defensive back, Senior Rod Woodson, which allowed Los Pittsburg Steelers to finally throw the ball during the second half, and to Senior Donald Driver, which limited Senior Aaron Rogers effectiveness.
Im driving back home tomorrow, and cant help but wonder if I will see my neighbor Henry, the pretend life-long Steelers fan face down in the lake behind our homes.ï¿½
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Chances are hes not, so I will I pretend to console him over the loss of his pretend favorite team with a case of Joe Montanas pretend favorite Mexican beer.Â And all this while we pretend to listen to the pretend musical group, the Black Eyed Peas.